~home again, home again~

 

oh my but i am tired!

 

i am sitting here still in what i class as my pyjamas...striped top and bottoms with snowboarding monkey's ;) with a large mug of lemon tea sitting in front of me.

we came home yesterday and only unpacked the essentials so have a day of slowly sorting and unpacking in front of us.

 

our moongazy camp was just glorious...

 

glorious i say!

 

we arrived on Wednesday afternoon so we could unpack, set up some welcome signs and sort out the spaces for those who had electric hook up. the drive up had been lovely with a single shower of rain, we pulled up and wanted to get our awning up so the fur-kids could be put out and what happened?

 

it poured down for about three hours with poor swampy diving out at the times it eased off a little to put the awning up bit by bit. so it took ages to get set up by which time we were exhausted, cooked tea and fell asleep.

 

people started to arrive the next day and by friday evening our little community was buzzing with laughter and energy. we had a small ritual to open the camp and then it was all go....

and it didn't stop until yesterday when all but a few people left the site.

it is going to take me a while to stockpile my spoons because i was like a small, slightly wonky whirlwind, not wanting to miss a thing.

 

Saturday night was fantastic as we had three acoustic guitars (i was so pleased that swampy was one of those), a bodhran (the player allan gave me a lesson with mine the following day!) and a few other drums and djembies all around a big camp fire...i will say it again...

 

glorious...if you are my friend on facebook i have been tagged in many photos so go have a look!

 

coming home we hurried into the garden to see how things had grown and it looks wonderful, everything is flourishing and i was going to sit out there just now with my tea but glad i didn't as our 'concrete' neighbours are doing 'something' noisy so my peaceful contemplation and listening to the birds would have been ruined :(

 

we were going to go to Glastonbury today but swampy has not checked our 'budget', this is the week all the big household bills go out, plus we are both struggling now the natural 'high' has worn off.

however we only live two hours away so can, realistically, go whenever we like.

so i shall be getting swampy to sort the budget and plan a day out!

 

once i have unpacked i shall be waking up the wylde apothecary for sales again both on my website and on etsy plus i have some new items that i will be creating~my own incense blends and 'mini' travelling altars so keep an eye on the wylde apothecary website/blog!

 

i also have some photos to put up, i bought a gorgeous hawthorn green man from my gorgeous friend where the wild roses grow and another friend, moongoddess knitted me the most wonderful red haired woodland fairy who is sitting patiently beside me waiting to have a name found for her!



~*smiling*~

 

*another blogging gap*

 

 

its been one of those weeks, trying to get everything sorted for our trip away (Avebury & Glastonbury!)

i have sorted through all my pendants, wrist bands, leaf pouches etc (robyn, i will have some on etsy when i return home!) ready for our little craft fair, plus an increasing pile of 'stuff' in the kitchen ready for me to pack away into Pretty Pagan.

 

my little mismi has been poorly, sleeping way too much, not dooking or war dancing~after the way we lost our dear cody, always puts me into a high state of fear & anxiety. after 36 hours of this we had a trip to the vets, a good examination & the miracle of getting a sample to be tested. at 7pmwe  had the pronouncement of a urinary tract infection. so he is on antibiotics & feeling so much better~his dook has returned & he war dances around happily.

so i am happy, i guess there are some folk out there who think how could someone possibly love a ferret so much, they have had so much bad press that a lot of people can only think of them in terms of biting and going up trouser legs!
mismi & inca are like having little cats in the house~when they are in for play time (twice daily, sometimes all day as they have the little bottom drawer of the wardrobe as their own little snoozy place) they have free range of one half of our house that is 'ferret proof' with a pine 'gate' keeping them from exploring flynts area of the house. this also means that we can come and go from the back door without the worry of them escaping. they come when called & will follow you around trying to 'help' & begging to be cuddled.

 

 

i am having a few investigations with the possibility i too have an infection, but i am still waiting to hear back from my gp~although speaking with a friend who had the same, i have all the symptoms of kidney stones *eeep*


*the next day*

i ended up going out with swampy at that point to buy cable ties. swampy is busy ferret proofing the new 'holiday home' for mismi & inca when he realised it would be easier to cable tie the wire mesh over the cage rather than keep adding little bits of wire and twisting them secure.

why? i hear some people ask, why add more wire to a cage?
well, i put inca in the old holiday home, a 'L' just to make sure she could not escape & she managed to ooze her way through a small gap of less than 3x3cm so we have to ensure she cannot escape from this one!
i think they will love the cage though, a 'J' for jumbo! we busy not only fixing the wire mesh, but making new platforms from fleece, a big fleecy hammock & planning where to fix their play tubes...they are going to have such fun!

***

so
the game of thrones

*whoot*

oh my i love it so much!

i actually started to read 'a song of ice & fire' (that title is so glorious it gives me the shivers) before i started to watch it on tv & me being me wish that they had the budget to film so much more of the story...but it is wonderful...more than wonderful...i have no words to describe how much i love it!
i continually swoon over the costumes & maybe a miniscule swoon over jon snow & as for brienne of tarth...what a warrior goddess she is! i admit i have the hugest grrl~crush on her!

well now the clock is ticking & i have a lot to do today, start to pack things into 'pretty pagan', i have some vintage Persian wool in the most gorgeous muted colours (photos to come) that i am splitting into single ply for a crochet project with my smallest hook.
the trouble is i am having trouble sourcing more as i cannot find anything in this country from 'the craft collection' or 'paragon' online...goddess knows just how vintage this wool is...i also need to make up label's for my wares going on sale at our Stonewylde craft fair next weekend...plus i am hoping to squeeze in making a skirt from my sew what! skits book over the next couple of days!

will i do it?!

i will keep you posted!

 

 



hey!

 

here we are again after another short break~i had hoped to start blogging daily, or at least a few times a week but the old ailments have been getting the better of me and i have been feeling too weary to even turn on my laptop...even worse i have not be doing any crafting.

 

 

however i had an odd serendipitous moment where i had the need to use some lavender and geranium shea butter and then found out that a friend was sending out some healing for me, of the lavender/rose geranium kind, and my mind, if not my body is feeling better!

 

 

this morning i caught up with the latest episode of Game of Thrones (anyone else here watch it or read the books?), finished wrapping two parcels to be posted and right now should really be hanging out some washing!

 

 

*break in writing...i ended up putting out the washing, playing with the ferret~children, chatting with calv and getting the washing back in due to 'april showers'!*

 

so what have i been doing?

 

***i covered all my shelves here in my room with fabric to hide the not so interesting boxes, dvd's etc...i had to recycle our old blue gingham camper curtains for now but after the Stonewylde Gathering i am going to get some pale yellow or beige gingham...the blue doesn't really lend itself to my plan to use my room for meditation.

 

***i moved my desk so that now i sit facing the window and have all my 'essentials' within easy reach to my left and right.

 

***moved my little Tiffany lamp (a real, beautiful Tiffany lamp) to the shelf that holds my ipod dock and moved my ipod dock to my desk so i can change songs and volume without having to stand up

***crochet a couple of freeform 'from the forest floor' wristbands for my stall at the Gathering

 

***bought two books 'The Duchess' and 'Peaches for Monsieur le Curé', which i realised is the third of the 'Chocolat' books so now need to get a copy of 'The Lollipop Shoes' as i cannot read them out of order.

 

i now need to get crafting...

 

 

 

 



~earth goddess~

 

well i set out to post this a few days ago but became tied up with all the usual things of 'normal' life~my mum popped in to have swampy look at her telephone bill (she was paying for things she did not need) and order her some strimmer wire, we popped out to a large camping superstore where we became over excited and made a list of some new things we quite fancy, shopping was yesterday and we had to take little Inca to the vets for a jill jab to bring her out of season.

 

today i have been catching up with e-mail and looking at a possible campsite for next years Stonewylde camp...north wales is looking interesting.

 

***

 

so...

earth goddess...

 

this has been coming up a lot in my books, dreams and oracle card readings just lately...

i have been writing it all up in my 'soul journey' journal and ended up having to do a flow-chart kind of thing to try to make sense of it all.

 

as i cannot do a flow chart here i shall just try to write up the big things and how they link...

 

firstly...re-birth/new beginnings~snake/dragon/snake spirit/cernunnos*green man/earth goddess/brighid

 

then...re-birth/new beginning's~primrose~flower of the bard~adder stone~regeneration of self

 

i also had a dream about being in a goddess circle with a small group of other women, with one of them revealing herself as a good friend and soul sister.

 

i am thinking that a more in depth card reading is in order to see if i can make any more sense of this.

 

what is your relationship with the goddess?

 

 



~thank you~

 

i want to say a big thank you to those who commented on my last post.

i came here today to apologise for writing such a 'down' post.

 

but then i thought no, that's okay, its fine to write down what i am feeling if it reaches out to people and makes them feel not so alone in their situation.

 

 

so...

 

i am getting there, getting there in that i am not going to let this get the better of me.

 

i had a wobble yesterday, a fit of frustration.

i thought i would help swampy out in the garden a bit, the sun was shining and it was warm, it felt nice.

but it seemed everything i did or suggested was 'wrong'~i tried twice, maybe three times and then gave up, not having the guts to explain why i came indoors and slumped on the sofa yet again.

 

it was a really lovely day yesterday and if it were not for the black dog i would have really enjoyed it.

 

i think maybe this fibro flare up is getting me down too.

 

but enough of that.

 

***

 

i have started jani francks

 

creative journaling

 

yesterday (well really today as i was not wanting to be online yesterday) and i am already loving it.

i went mad and bought a moleskine sketchbook for it, which is not so bad as my present moleskine notebook has a paltry two pages left after my last couple of entries have been rather extensive.

there is something special about a really nice journal...

 

***

 

i am excited as i have been invited and  applied for tickets for swampy and i to join the gorsedd of cor gawr at Stonehenge again for the alban hefin/midsummer gorsedd at stonehenge.

remembering the midwinter ritual i just know this one will be special...but getting swampy out of bed and at stonehenge for dawn?

well that will be interesting!

 

***

 

i have moved myself from the sofa into my room and plan on putting some shamanic drumming on and working with some preseli bluestone for the wylde apothecary.

apart from the 'frippery' i have made nothing for days as i have not wanted to work my negativity into my creations, which i think is fair enough.

but today i think its time...its time to override the black dog as much as i can so i shall play my shamanic drumming, burn some Tibetan healing incense and see what the song of the stones tell me to do...

~the wet nose of the black dog~

 

so I have had a break

it wasn't just a break from blogging but from the internet, especially facebook but from the world in general.

 

its that old black dog putting his cold wet nose into my life again...or at least trying to.

 

I suppose it wasn't even a break~i just couldn't do anything.

oh I wanted to but just...couldn't.

 

i think i spent five days just on the sofa, not being able to focus on anything at all, wanting to do plenty but my heart and my mind were not in it.

 

its still there but today i forced myself into my room to catch up with friends on facebook and do some crafting...but really my heart has not been in it and all i created was something i am calling a 'frippery' something that is so far removed from the things i usually create that i will not even be putting it up for sale.

 

i am feeing so frustrated

 

i knew i was heading in this direction when a few weeks ago i started to wake up with a familiar feeling of dread/anxiety in my stomach...a feeling i knew so well.

the last time i woke like this i ended up one morning, dressed and ready for work with my car keys in my hand, sitting on the end of the bed in floods of tears, not able to leave my home.

i ended that episode, which lasted about 3 years, on lithium, which i stopped taking, and a year down the line i was back at work.

 

this past week i have wanted to spend my time shut away in bed with the covers over my head but i have been forcing myself up and trying hard to be...normal.

 

but this is my normal,

 well part of my normal anyway...i was writing in my journal last night...i think genetics has a big part to play in my depressive/anxiety ridden personality...

 

i sit and remember the depressive episodes my dad had where he would lock himself away in his own craft room and paint or read.

my aunty had an episode and was, i believe, sectioned for a while as she was a danger to herself.

my great, great, great granddad george chandler was, in 1871, listed in the census as an inmate of the Wiltshire county lunatic asylum  as a 'lunatic'...probably, i feel, some form of depression.

 

while not depressive my mum is a very anxious person and it is from she i get my ocd...yes i have that too.

 

on that note feel that is it for today...

 

 

 

 



~crafting~

well we have had none of the heavy snow that most of the country has been having~we are at the southern most point of the country and so tend to have rain instead of snow.

however it is bitterly cold and damp...oh and grey.

i don't think i would mind the cold if we had some sunshine with it.

i have spent the day in my room having fun with some new ceramic beads i ordered a few days ago for the wylde apothecary.

i love ceramics of all kinds and one of my greatest wishes is to have a small kiln...one day maybe!

anyway this is what i have been making...

i love the big round ceramic bead...

this picture shows the lovely shades of green...

i also experimented with a much thicker wire...

yesterday i ordered some more ceramic beads which i hope arrive soon as i have so many ideas and keen to get the all up for sale.

~what a day!~

today has been one of those days

it seems there is some 'issue' with facebook which meant i could not post instant status updates on 

the wylde apothecary page without setting it as a scheduled update...i didn't want that, i wanted instant posting gratification!

i tried everything...

swampy tried everything...

it reached the point where i was going to either

a) throw my laptop out of the window in a fit of frustration

or

b)resign myself to not being able to manage my page

well finally i posted a cry for help which resulted in the much needed help and the downloading of chrome.

that of course then sent me into a spin as my bookmarks were not imported, but again help was at hand.

so here i am, its 5pm and i have done very little constructive today and its so frustrating.

ahh well never mind i can start tomorrow afresh!

***

its blisteringly cold here today and a large area of the country is having snow and lots of it.

us southerners are supposed to have rain but apart from a shower this morning it is staying dry.

personally i think it is so cold (cold enough for me to have the radiator on in my room) that anything that falls will be as snow.

~*seed intentions*~

 

 

good morning all

 

well who is buzzing as we make that last step towards the spring equinox/alban eilir~'the light of spring'?

 

i am

 

this morning i fought my bruxus with an extensive journal entry about the equinox, taking tips from the passage in my earth pathways diary from glennie kindred.

 

 pondering about the seeds i want to grow in my life

celebrating what makes me feel good and follow these things

what do my 'seed intentions' need to grow?

what will prevent them from growing?

 

i filled four pages of my journal and this will be the basis of my equinox ritual.

i am not sure what the weather will be...when i got up this morning we had freezing fog...in my heart of hearts i am hoping it will be fine enough to have my fire out in my garden.

 

 

as well as my journal entry i came in and gave my room, my 'grrl cave' a good spring clean, wiped around with a damp cloth, re-arranged my altar, tidied my desk, watered my plants, rearranged some of the bits and bobs i have surrounding me, got a mug of coffee and listening to omnia's 'beltaine' cd~celtic harp so very relaxing.

 

 

 

i wont bore you with the details of my 'seed intentions' but needless to say you will be seeing the fruits of my seeds over the coming months~i am feeling so positive that i cannot let myself believe that it will not come into fruition.

 



*yayyy baby steps!*

 

 

feeling really excited as i have just listed the first of my

 

Preseli Bluestone

 

necklaces up at the wylde apothecary

 

the first of many small steps to world domination!

 

 

i have spent today changing the website around, adding more text and photos so i would be grateful for any feed back :)

 

now for a lovely veggie meal and watch some more of

'a game of thrones'