rise and root

***

~*~*~*~
by the gorgeous bohemian wild roses~thank you me dear xoxoxo


The Flame Haired Solstice Dreamer

Cold winter brings the Everfrost and jewels every tree
In a forest new as birth and old as old can be
A flame~haired dreamer wanders there and shelters from the wind
And spins her dreams around the trees to break the ties that bind
She takes her thread and spins anew and how the Greenwood smiles
As she spins a spell for freedom and for her spirit Wylde

The dreamer finds an ancient oak and shelters in his lee
In a forest new as birth and old as old can be
Tis summer now and birdsong weaves its magick through her spells
And humming bees drum drowsily in the foxglove's bells
The dreamer sits beneath the oak with yarn upon her knee
And spins and knits and weaves her dreams and sets her spirit free

***
"When birds fall from the sky and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people...shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. they will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow"

Hopi Prophecy

sunshine & showers

its been a long time again

i have been finding it hard to gather my mojo for anything much
and my words have refused to flow here, although i have managed to fill quite a few pages in my moleskine~mostly connected to my card readings from either my shamans oracle or wild unknown tarot.

i have been having the black dog lurk within my peripheral vision~feels of 'i just cant be bothered', wanting to go to bed at an unnaturally early hour, not eating as i cant be bothered to cook, waking with a feeling of dread even if i am not doing anything that day and more recently random feelings of 'teary'
i know the signs, i have had cyclical depression since my teens (with anxiety and social phobia long before that...goddess i sound a mess!) but i refuse to go to my gp. i have an irrational fear of seeing any doctor, the fear of being told there is nothing wrong with me...the whole 'you dont look sick' thing. 
so i shall bumble along and see how things go. 
the good thing is the weather is slowly, oh so very slowly, getting better. today we have another blue sky day, although it is a little chilly still.

even better the workmen we have had here for weeks and weeks have finally finished which means we can restore our garden back to the beautiful space it was before they arrived and we had to move everything, dismantle the pergola, move the ferret cage...all this has meant that i have not been able to sit in the garden in any way shape or form. 
arghhh its just been awful!

now they have gone, swampy has put up the pergola, the ferret palace is back in place, my chairs, bench, pots are all back in their places as are my assorted green men and woven wreaths hanging with hag stones. 
even better i can now see all the new life springing back to life, pushing up from the damp earth towards the ever growing heat of our brother sun...goddess it feels so good, i cannot tell you how good. the black dog is still lurking though, i don't know when he will decide to trot off...even today with blue sky, sunshine and being able to sit in the garden he sits, very still, deep inside of me and i cannot shake off the little kernel of fear that is sitting with him. 
i wish i knew why...

*****

i bought myself something i have been wanting for a long time...

a red deer skin shaman drum from shamanic drums and rattles
i have been looking at their etsy shop for ages and finally managed to pool enough gifted money...


as soon as i held 'her' in my hands i felt the most amazing connection and looking closely at the markings on the skin had the feeling of the duality of light and dark with what could almost be an image taken from my shamans oracle cards standing between the two.
she sounds beautiful and i have already started to use her when doing a guided visualisation.
i have yet to properly dedicate her as my journeys are being done to find out more about those who have reached out to me over the years...



one day i went through some old photos and found a load of me at glastonbury and the festival c,1990-2, i look so young!

resting my feet with friends katie and jake

the top of the tor~short hair and cape over black leather


i have been exploring elen of the ways for a while now~it feels right living here in this ancient forest where seeing deer is not an impossibility. i have quite a few single antlers and a partial skull with antlers still attached. this i am sure is why i felt so connected to my shaman drum.
last week i went out on a sunny day for a walk with swampy and as we got out of the camper a large herd of deer bounded across the trackway and through the woods in front of us. a few stopped to stare at us before bounding away and they all crossed the nearby stream and vanished from sight.
then as we were walking back we ended up following the tracks of a few deer who had crossed the open land overnight leaving only their tracks, which vanished into the woods where the herd had been a short time earlier...




*sigh*


well here i am again

it is another grey cold day here in the new forest and i have just tested my blood~something i have to do twice daily since starting my morning insulin shots~and it has rocketed since this morning. 
all due to a few small slices of malt loaf...*sigh*
although this daily testing and injecting is so very tedious its a good way of seeing what foods my body reacts to. 
however at the same time it gets me down, really down sometimes, to the point i think, sod it i am going to stop testing and getting stressed and do what i want. then i calm down and remain down but continue to test.
i have to make an appointment with my diabetic nurse at our village surgery so have decided to discuss my low moods.

i don't know how many of you out there are diabetic and how you manage~do you get down?

i find it so frustrating that i cannot enjoy eating as i constantly worry about what its doing to my sugar levels.

ahh well.

***

both swampy and i have experienced a loss in our families since yule.

in december i lost my great auntie joy who lived up in norfolk.
i had been lucky enough to find her and my great uncle fred~my gramps hawkins last living sibling~ through my ancestry work and so had a few lovely years emailing, writing and exchanging photos.

last week we attended the funeral of swampys nephew scott who passed very suddenly a few weeks ago and today we are honouring him for it would have been his 21st birthday.

so this last few weeks have been full of sadness and questions but also celebration for the way scott overcome health problems and was on the verge of completing his degree~but we were all overjoyed to hear at his wake that he is being awarded his BA in november 



~long & hard winter~


my but its been a long hard winter
i have had a lot of flare ups with my bruxism and fibro and my body is coming to terms with the osteo arthritis.
so i have spent many days just sitting on the sofa or sitting in bed.
mostly reading or journalling

i have had no inspiration for anything at all.

just literally nothing

i am slowly coming out of it now, my room has been tided up and the clear desk is giving me some inclination to sit and create.

i think the full moon energies helped and i did a reading with the wild unknown tarot while snuggled up in bed. it was cloudy here and so we could not see her but i certainly was buzzing with life





we have had some gloriously frosty mornings here in this ancient forest













i love getting out in the garden early on frosty mornings, listening to the crows chattering away in the oak.

we have had a bit of excitement here with the grounding of the hoegh osaka between southampton water and the isle of wight.
we we drove down to calshot which is about a half hour drive from us and it was so busy~like a hot summers day~with people going down to see it



we took flynt and had a lovely walk along the beach hunting down fossils and hag stones




i have been moving music onto my ipod...


watching Vikings again before season three starts in march...


and loving this...


leveret has been sulking because we moved the sofa and armchair and so chose to sleep on my boots


and loving the new earth pathways diary



~bits & bobs~


yesterday i wanted to go to Lymington market to buy a gorgeous waistcoat i had seen on my last visit and so with the pennies in my pocket swampy drove me there...

 lymington market is a charter market and was established in 1250 and lymington itself is a small, beautiful Georgian town. it was so busy it was difficult to take as many photos as i wanted so here are a few. ..





***

on a cold, clear night we had our village christmas evening, when the road was closed, the lights were lit and most of the village turned out for the lights, carols, mulled wine, mince pies and meeting with friends...





all under a beautiful full moon...



***

here in this ancient forest we have had some wonderful hard frosts and the garden has looked quite magical







***
on opening day we went to see The hobbit~The Battle of the Five Armies and so i took my Dad's old copy of The Hobbit and i wore two of my Hobbit badges. as expected it was an amazing film but i came away bereft that it was the final one



***

i have recently started to re-read the Avalon books of Marion Zimmer Bradley.
I was introduced to the mists of avalon many years ago as a teenager in my first year of college (i just worked it out and it was 30 years ago!) and i still have my original and very battered copy.
this book was the first book i had read that really made me realise that the things i felt and believed about the world around me were something bigger than myself, that such things did exist and that other people believed the same.
due to the times they were published i initially read them out of chronological order but since getting all of the books i now read them chronologically on a regular basis and they never fail to stir my soul and affirm my spiritual path.
if you haven't read them i suggest you start!

***
now the day really has dawned~my candles are still burning and the incense smoke has ceased and it is time to get on with my day...

~solstice blessings~


*brightest Solstice blessings*

 to all those who stop by to read this blog

artist signed as EFB

i am up before dawn, sitting in the light of my yule tree, waiting a bit longer before i carry my candle lit lantern and cauldron of incense into the garden for dawn.

my little village sits in a natural bowl and my little home on the hill that leads down to it so any sunrise comes to me a little late, although this morning i believe it has been a cloudy night and will be a cloudy dawn with no sign of the spark of the returning light~apart from the spark that i feel within me.

now we are all going to slowly awake from from the winter darkness and bring into being those dreams we have been incubating over the dark months. the inspiration and wisdom we have found from our dark inner journeys  can be brought out and and allowed to grow in the new light.
our visions can be birthed.

sunset last night was cold and almost clear and i was out saying a first farewell to the darkness...




and at bedtime i thought it was time to take one card from the wild unknown tarot after months of getting to know the cards...


the daughter of swords

honest
insightful

however and where ever you celebrate the winter/summer solstice may all your intentions find the light


All things share the same breath~the beast, the tree, the man, the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.



Chief Seattle





Johney Gaul~1915

Johney Gaul~1915
1890-17 september 1918~France